blessed...*deeply* blessed

Look at that picture... I am possibly one of the luckiest women in the world. And, to our daughters growing inside me, look at those faces- these are the women who made me who I am, and they will be there for you too. You are definitely two of the luckiest little girls in the world.

At my mother's bidding, all of us invoked our mothers' presence, and their mothers', and theirs...and suddenly the room was full of silence, all of us feeling the presence of our mothers, grandmothers, great-grand mothers, sisters, aunts... and I was lucky to have some of the above actually physically present in the room. Those women- not aunts or cousins by blood but by soul- surrounded me and beamed at me and I felt our little girls inside me feeling that power and love. What a wonderful wonderful afternoon.

And there were also two men there, my father and my best friend's father. They just melted right in to the group. While there is power in women, and in communities of women, there is a deep power in the presence of men among us- appreciating us, understanding us, loving us, helping us to be ourselves. I am blessed by the men in my life too. My brother, my father, my uncles (real and made via the community my parents have created), my male friends, my male cousins (real and made...). They are smart and loving and kind and strong.

Sometimes I worry about the world I'm bringing our girls into, but when I think of the people who populate *my* world and have guided me to have a happy, rich life, I feel safe. I feel confident. As you all have been there for me, I know you will be there for our girls.

And I got to test that strength- the power and strength of my community, this very morning. One day after the blessing way, I woke up at 6am with severe abdominal pain which later I realized must have been contractions. I'm only at 28 weeks as of tomorrow, and so this was not good. I woke my sister, who woke my parents, and after about an hour of trying to comfort me (and doing a pretty good job), we decided to take me to the hospital. A few tests later, we learned that I have a bladder infection, and not long after that I started having contractions in earnest. My mother, who used to be a birth coach, was marvelous- she helped me remember to breath, showed me how to breath lightly through the contractions and try to relax my body. My father rubbed my back, and my husband held my hands and head and when I needed him, my gaze.

I am fine now. The infection was causing the contractions, and once that was under control, the contractions stopped. I have some round ligament pain too, which compounded the whole thing. The girls are "gorgeous" according to the tests, and the test they did for pre-term birth showed that I am not at all at risk for delivering soon. So they get to stay in longer and keep growing. They were wiggling and moving and poking most of the morning, sending me reassuring nudges.

But the thing I really wanted to tell everyone was that during the worst of the contractions, my mother told me to think of something relaxing- a place that wasn't there in the hospital room. And so I pictured the scene yesterday at the Ware's house... in their sunroom, which was bright and cheerful even on a day that was torrential rain and wind. It was filled with the faces of women from almost every part of my life- looking at me, watching my mother rub my shoulders and my sister massaging my feet, thinking of their mothers' mothers and then sharing their blessings with me. So I wanted you all to know that I thought of you then, when I was trying to rise above that pain, and it was a wonderful thing.

Now we have had some practice for the real event, and with my mother, my father and my husband at my side and your faces in my mind, I know that all will be well when the real delivery day comes... hopefully some time at the end of may or even on their due date, June 7! And for those who were not in the room yesterday, know that you're in my mind and heart, and you'll be with me too when that day comes.

Thank you- I wish those words were not so flat- because I mean them from the depth of my heart and soul.